I’m baaaaaaaack

 Our minds are WAY more powerful than we realize!

I was getting so frustrated.  And worried.  And that becomes a vicious cycle.  I began to realize though, that perhaps my worry and anxiety were at least partially a root cause of some of the medical issues I was having.  Because I was having a bunch of stuff that just didn’t 100% tie together for any specific illness.

So I gave myself one week of putting all worrying and fear and hyper-anxiety on the back burner, to see if it made any difference/improvement at all.  I did not allow myself to get into those kinds of frantic, ruminating mind-games about my health or my symptoms.  I practiced positive thinking.  I changed my internet home page from the news to my Twitter account, that I had cleaned up so that all politics was gone.  Nothing but Zen accounts, Positive Thinking Accounts, home decor accounts, photography accounts, etc.

Low and behold, within 24 hours, I saw improvement.  Now, three days in, all but 2 symptoms are completely GONE.

I was driving myself crazy and into serious medical problems!!!

Don’t get me wrong…I’m still on a seriously restricted diet.  To be cautious, I can only re-introduce one food every 3-4 days. But I’m feeling SO much better, it’s practically miraculous!

Part, too, of my problem, based on 14 months of mostly crappy health…was that I was developing a real phobia about getting old, and what was left (or not.)  It was bad.  I had to knock myself upside the head about it, the past 48 hours.  Shite, NO ONE is guaranteed a tomorrow.  Ask Bill Paxton.  Ask anyone who is struck by a car and dies, no matter what their age is.  THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES.

Yes, I’m 65.5.  Shit is gonna happen.  But you know what?  I have limited days left…and I need to work MUCH harder on enjoying them to the fullest.  Because the real shit could hit the fan tomorrow.  Or 2 weeks from now.  Or 5 years from now.  I’m wasting valuable time wallowing in abject fear over it.  So that shit has got to be stopped and I have to re-focus my thoughts whenever those kinds of issues start to try to work back into my consciousness.  Life is just too.damned.short.

So that’s where I am.  Instead of worrying and dwelling on health and politics, I prefer to gab with you guys; here and at your blogs.  I’ll be visiting you all between now and the end of the weekend.  I’ve missed you all!

32 thoughts on “I’m baaaaaaaack

  1. coffeeontheporchwithme

    I'm so glad you are feeling better and have had a bit of an epiphany. You are so right – there are no guarantees in this life. You might as well relax and go with the flow and enjoy yourself. Life is going to happen whether you spend time worrying about it or not. Have a very happy weekend! -Jenn

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  2. Jean R.

    Be proud of yourself for recognizing the source of some/most of your frustrations and worries and doing what it took to pull back from those sources.

    I went through a phase a year or two ago when I, too, worried about the lack of time I have left on earth. I don't know why we do that to ourselves but I think it's not uncommon as we age. It's one of those storms of life we have to power through.

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  3. Silver Willow

    I guess, but I sure wasn't expecting it! I had been so looking forward to retiring, and then I began dreading it, knowing the distraction that work can be. I have to get back to looking forward to it again. 😉 and thanks!

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  4. Lynda

    I know what you mean about age – my realisation always happens just when I'm falling asleep and I go “shit, I'm going to die soon”… weird I know but it just makes me realise that I have to get on with all that I want to do. The news is rubbish – yes I still have a news feed for my home page but I'm not getting so hooked into it as I used to and I've definitely withdrawn a lot from other social media rubbish.

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  5. Silver Willow

    thanks for understanding. It's another case where being OCD hasn't been helping. I get 'hooked' (obsessed) on a topic and find it hard to let go. I (still) don't think I have it bad enough to get medicated for it like my oldest daughter has had to, but when it rears its ugly head, I have to watch out. I guess even at 65, one can be learning new tricks. But another day passes, and I'm getting better at putting those negative thoughts aside. Not so much that I'm running in fear from them, but I face then briefly, accept their value (or intrinsic lack thereof), then release them into the universe to go bug someone else. 😉 Thanks for sharing. 🙂

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  6. Granny Annie

    Loved that poem. You are stronger than you think and I am happy to see you back where you belong. I gave up depression for Lent and it is working so far:-)

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  7. tammy j

    I am continually falling back on wise old Abe Lincoln.
    “people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
    he keeps me on track! xo

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  8. Cynthia

    Wow, that is a fantastic turnaround in only three days! Worry is a powerful thing and hard to stop but you did so well. I take weekends off political news and many times on weekdays I just have to quit to keep my sanity. I don't want to spend my remaining years, whatever they are, being miserable!
    Thanks for commenting on my blog today.

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  9. Silver Willow

    Welcome! Yes, I was shocked myself by how quickly by body all but returned to normal! I have made note of it, in case it happens again. Yeah, I'm back to not following politics too much. Many, many younger millions who can handle it for me. 😉

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  10. Toni

    Thanks for the reminder. I just turned 66. Your post drew my attention to the fact that everything hurts because I am filled with anxiety, (aging, failing parents, politics, local pressures, family illnesses, etc.).

    I'm going to follow your example.

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