My heart aches for a close friend

We worked together for about six years; about 4 years ago she retired across country with her husband (and her daughter, son-in-law, and 3 grandkids.)  (they bought 2 separate homes, about 20 minutes apart.) (her daughter is their only child.)

I want to let u know that I lost my Paul this morning. Two weeks ago he went to the hospital for a catherization of his heart. Prior to the procedure his blood test showed a white cell count of 20,000. That was on a Monday two weeks ago. The Thursday prior it was 8000. So they did not do the cath and admitted him as the blood count indicated an infection. He was diagnosed with lymphoma and leukemia. The cancer was in the nodes and the blood.  Also he was having kidney failure. The day we brought him home the white cell count was 65,000.  We brought him home this Saturday to hospice care. He was on heavy Morphine because he was very agitated. He slept all the time. He was never in pain. The doctors were very surprised at how aggressive the cancer was. The lymphoma dr told me that she had never seen this cancer move so fast. I am just glad that he did not suffer. 

I am ok. I had several days to say good bye. (*insert daughter’s name*) was by my side the whole way. He will be cremated and will take his ashes to the dock where he went fishing with (*insert son-in-law’s name*) and the kids. I think the kids will like that. “
* * * 
My heart just breaks for her.  My first father-in law, and my best friend, went from cancer diagnosis to death, both within 3-4 months.  And I thought THAT was extremely fast; I can’t even fathom going from unexpected diagnosis to death of one’s spouse within a mere 2 weeks.
ugh.
She is an extremely, extremely strong, intelligent, with it woman.  She will survive, and probably do it with more grace and aplomb than almost anyone I know.  But she lost her mother at Xmas time about 7 years ago, and now her husband at Thanksgiving.  And just so damned, damned fast.
sooooooooooo sad.  😦

29 thoughts on “My heart aches for a close friend

  1. Janie Junebug

    When my mom was a teenager, her dad was diagnosed with leukemia and died two weeks later. Of course, there wasn't much of any treatment so long ago. I'm so sorry for your friend.

    Love,
    Janie

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  2. dkzody

    I'm sorry for your loss. Your friend may be a strong woman, but it is a shock to lose a loved one so quickly like that. You can be a support for her.

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  3. Anonymous

    I'm sorry for your loss. Your friend may be a strong woman, but it is a shock to lose a loved one so quickly like that. You can be a support for her.

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  4. Jean R.

    Sorry to hear about your friend's husband. I lost my mom on Easter and my dad on Christmas and I can tell you from personal experience that losing a loved one on a holiday adds a whole another layer of pain to the grieving process.

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  5. Jeanie

    Oh, this is so sad. I've known three people now who have died (or will die) on or in this week before Thanksgiving. No, four. Two of them way too soon. I really feel for your friend and I know you will be of marvelous support to her in the days ahead.

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  6. Olga Hebert

    I am sorry to hear of such a sudden loss to your friend. I am sure it will help that she is so close to her daughter, but it is always hard.
    Somehow I was prepared for some of the aspects of aging but not the reality of so many deaths of friends and family.

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  7. Plowing Through Life (Martha)

    What a tragic situation. I am so sorry about your friend. That is indeed very fast, but there never is enough time when a loved one is leaving us. We wish they'd never go. My father died within six weeks of his cancer diagnosis, which shocked all of us, especially my mother. They were going to be celebrating their 48th wedding anniversary two weeks later.

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  8. Arkansas Patti

    I am so sorry for your friend's loss and yours as well. The holidays makes it all the worse. I lost both my parents–years apart–at Thanksgiving. The day always has a sadness that creeps in. So glad she has a daughter to help her through.

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  9. tammy j

    I had 10 months with my bob. and even then it still comes as a shock.
    perhaps because we are forced to accept it and everything in us says NO.
    bless her. xo

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  10. ellen abbott

    six years ago my sister's husband had been complaining about pain in his shoulders and legs but no health insurance and no money and on Thanksgiving he crashed. we took him to the emergency room and they diagnosed him with metastatic stage 4 lung cancer. he died two weeks later. I'm not sure which is worse, that they go quickly before you can get used to the idea or that you know the death is coming for a long time. so sorry for your friend.

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